Ben

The most authentic thing about us
Is our capacity to create, to overcome,
To endure, to transform, to love,
And to be greater than our suffering.    Ben Okri

I often think of Ben's words in my head.  Especially of late.  My  mind is still in a whirlwind from the weekend.

We all make choices in life.  Some of these choices are in line with what we want...what we want to generate for ourselves and for those that matter.   

I choose family.  Family is so very important to me in my life.  Not only my children, but my siblings, their families, my parents and our extended family.

I choose to entertain and host family and events.

When these two choices come together, I have a house full of guests, kids running in and out, loud conversations and laughter.  At times I can feel overwhelmed, anxious and want everyone to leave.  But then I remind myself, this is what I choose.  I choose family.  I choose to entertain.  I should not suffer over what I choose.  When I get present to this, a calmness appears and I get present to what I want and the people who are in my life.  I am lucky and blessed.

And I truly recognize it's not always so black and white or easy.

This doesn't mean I don't have struggle with what I choose.  I still struggle with some of my choices in my life.  Let's look at example number one.  I want to live a long and healthy life.  I want to grow old, I want to watch my kids become adults and start families.  I dream of becoming a grandma.  I want to be around to support my children and enjoy that stage of my life.  But there is conflict in the way I'm living my life now.  What I'm choosing now won't get me to "old" (or older).  I'm not choosing this in my everyday actions.  I'm not living a healthy life and taking care of my body.  I know what needs to be done.  But knowing doesn't give me any power.   And I suffer for it.

But today I chose differently.  I made conscious choices.  And it felt good.

*************
I don't mean to be such a "Debbie Downer".  I will move back to regularly scheduled postings.

How about some pictures from my weekend.  The house at Cannon Beach was like a white cloud.  Two cabins in the back, one was the original house, and the second a shed, converted to a dreamy bedroom.  In addition there was a newly built big house in the front of the property.  Can you say dreamy?

Looking out into the back yard, original house on the left, shed turned bedroom on the right.

A quick view into the shed turned bedroom.

A view from the couch, lovely white sofas and light grey painted floors.  And, oh, the millwork.  LOVE.  

This was my first time to Cannon Beach, it's amazingly beautiful.  I can't wait to return.

I'll share more soon.

xoxo